That's all anyone I passed had to ask.
***
Today's lunch hour started in Joyce Leslie. I was looking for a simple, black, jersey dress. What I found was a little leopard-print humiliation.
I wandered through Joyce Leslie for about 10 minutes, moving deeper into the complicated net of a poorly planned store layout. I zigzagged my way back to the wide walking space in the middle, dodging pointy jewelry racks and skimming the poles that hold the clothes.
I left JL and meandered to Hallmark to buy a "welcome to your new house!" card that will wait in a CA mailbox until my parents get there. Got a weird look from the lady behind me, but chalked it up to lunch hour grumpiness. I browsed through the cooking and literature sections at Borders and got a few more looks. I left The Gallery to buy a hotdog on the street and I walked around the block a couple times while I ate it. Was I being paranoid or were those girls giggling and talking about me? I went to the post office to buy a stamp for the Hallmark card and thought I heard someone behind me say "thong." Finally, I walked through the doors to my workplace, in front of a couple of women, noted a giggle after I flashed the guards my ID badge, and was followed into the elevator by Dave, a cool guy who works in production and ascended in obliviousness.
I used my magnetic card to open the door on our floor while Dave stood behind me. Then I checked in with my boss and walked by cubicle after cubicle saying hi to everyone before my beautiful Naima said "Hold up. Jessica, my love, why are you hanging a thong from your bag at work?"
Today's lunch hour started in Joyce Leslie. I was looking for a simple, black, jersey dress. What I found was a little leopard-print humiliation.
I wandered through Joyce Leslie for about 10 minutes, moving deeper into the complicated net of a poorly planned store layout. I zigzagged my way back to the wide walking space in the middle, dodging pointy jewelry racks and skimming the poles that hold the clothes.
I left JL and meandered to Hallmark to buy a "welcome to your new house!" card that will wait in a CA mailbox until my parents get there. Got a weird look from the lady behind me, but chalked it up to lunch hour grumpiness. I browsed through the cooking and literature sections at Borders and got a few more looks. I left The Gallery to buy a hotdog on the street and I walked around the block a couple times while I ate it. Was I being paranoid or were those girls giggling and talking about me? I went to the post office to buy a stamp for the Hallmark card and thought I heard someone behind me say "thong." Finally, I walked through the doors to my workplace, in front of a couple of women, noted a giggle after I flashed the guards my ID badge, and was followed into the elevator by Dave, a cool guy who works in production and ascended in obliviousness.
I used my magnetic card to open the door on our floor while Dave stood behind me. Then I checked in with my boss and walked by cubicle after cubicle saying hi to everyone before my beautiful Naima said "Hold up. Jessica, my love, why are you hanging a thong from your bag at work?"
To be clear there was
Oh my God.
No, no, no.
Photos courtesy of Naima.
A
Joyce
Leslie
Leopard-print
Leopard-print
thong
on
a
hanger
dangling
from
the
side
pocket
of
my
bag.
Oh my God.
No, no, no.The looks and giggles clicked into reality. It made for an interesting day! Maybe I should leave it on??
Trust Naima to say what needed to be said. Dave, you are totally forgiven because I never want to hear you say the word undies.
Photos courtesy of Naima.
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