Today I found the school store, (which I thought was imaginary), set up a loan and got a library card. I felt drunkenly independent as I walked back to my flat with a florid face and the plan to grab some dinner then traverse outside the Dublin area alone. I went into the kitchen to grab a pita and slice an avocado. There, I flit into conversation with Dada (or Tada? who knows), a woman in my flat from Argentina. Then Stephen came in, then David, a second and third flat-mate. I've met them all before but it was way back last Tuesday when I hated life. I realized this was my time to start exuding awesomeness immediately or risk sticking in their minds as the Plath-like American who looked like someone ate her puppy. And so it went, with poor Whitney as my internal soundtrack, that I stayed in the common area and made a new impression that didn't conjure thoughts of an oven.
As I ate my pita
I BROKE MY HEART
I realized I was in a ring.
FOUGHT EVERY GAIN
I'd thrown some bad punches. Some desperate, sad, last Tuesday punches.
TO TASTE THE SWEET
And now, after dancing around and pumping myself up
I FACE THE PAIN
I was ready to get some good ones in.
I RISE AND FALL
And I could see the others dancing, too.
YET THROUGH IT ALL
So I tossed a few out out. A good line, an articulate compliment.
THIS MUCH REMAINS
And they hit back with the same.
GIVE ME ONE MOMENT IN TIME
I made fun of Sean and they laughed.
WHEN I'M RACING WITH DESTINYYYYY.
We talked and laughed more, getting easy with each other, making plans.
THEN, IN THAT ONE MOMENT OF TIME...I WILL FEEL...I WILL FEEL...ETERNITY!!!!
Ooo. What's that feeling? That tingly goodness ah. It must be eternity or something.
That's how it happened. Thank you, Whit.
An hour later, fed by the pita and avocado and by finally making laughter with some flat-mates, I went back into the weather and roamed. When I recognized places on my roam, I paused and felt I'd finally arrived here and then I pushed beyond. Later I will recognize and arrive in farther out places and soon I'll cover Ireland with my recognition like a tipped molasses covers a table.
Today = the tomorrow I kept telling myself was coming.
1 comment:
Beautiful. Wonderful.
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