Friday, July 21, 2006

A girl can dream...

I received an email at work this morning. This is my dream response to it:

Dear Dr. Dalton,

Please find my responses in bold below.

Hello, hi, butthead,

I declined to review this manuscript after recieving IT’S I BEFORE E EXCEPT AFTER C, IDIOT an email voicing the opinion of being "very disappointed" in my inability to review this paper in a timely manner, and that I am "ignoring" professional reminders. BUT YOU WERE UNABLE AND YOU WERE IGNORING- YOU'VE HAD THE PAPER FOR A MONTH! DO YOU READ ONE WORD PER HOUR? Rather than prolong the editor's agony AGONY? UGH. I HATE HYPERBOLE MORE THAN DEATH and to continue to promote extreme EXTREME? AGAIN, I HATE IT WITH THE STRENGTH OF A THOUSAND BURNING SUNS disappointment, I felt it best to decline to review this manuscript.WHERE'S YOUR SENSE OF COMMITMENT, WIMP? I HATE YOUR GUTS.

William S. Dalton, Ph.D., M.D., LOSER

Worst regards possible,
Jessica

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